Today James and I will have been married for 32 years! That sounds like a long time, but then I look around at our empty nest and remember that we are grandparents… and it feels just about right. đ He is the man for which I prayed, waited, and wrote.Â
Several years ago I posted a three-part series on how I prayed and waited on God to bring James into my life, and I wanted to put them together into one piece and re-post the story for anyone who may need encouragement to keep waiting upon and trusting in The Lord.Â
God does see, hear, and provide in His most perfect of ways. If you or anyone you love is waiting on God for that special someone, may the Lord use this testimony to bring you renewed hope and encouragement… and may He continue to use our marriage and our lives for His great glory.
Happy 32nd Anniversary, James Walker.  You were SO worth the wait!!! I love you~Â
On October 17, 1992, two individual lives became one, and a promise was made before God and witnesses that this couple would tough it out till death parted them…through better or worse, richer or poorer, and through sickness and health.
Over the years, as in all marriages, weâve faced numerous seasons of both joy and sorrow, peace and difficulty⌠things, that if we hadnât been committed to God and to each other, could have / would have torn us apart.
Though Iâm still no sage at this stage of life and matrimony, I wanted to share with you the one thing that I know has made a difference in our marriage. Itâs something that preceded even my meeting James Walker. And that thing is prayer.
From the time I was in my motherâs womb, my family prayed for me and for my spouse. And over my growing-up years, I too, learned to pray for my future husband. By the time I was 13, God had called me to be a Ministerâs wife, mother, and encourager of women through His Word. Though I didnât really know what in the world that would mean, I began to pray for my ministry man.
I prayed and looked for him…
I prayed and looked for him through high school, but he wasnât there.
I prayed and looked for him through college⌠A Christian college where all kinds of preacher-boys attended⌠but he wasnât there.
So I decided to start a journal for my future husband â in faith that one day I would find him.
In this journal I wrote about significant things that were happening in my life, pretending that he was merely out of town and missed them. (We didnât have text or email back then⌠so writing letters was ânormalâ â grin.) I never let myself write âDear ____â. I wanted to save âDear {insert name}â for the day I knew my husbandâs name.
So I prayed⌠and waited⌠and wroteâŚ
I prayed and looked for him in the singles department of our large church⌠and couldnât find him there (for a few years, at least).
So I continued to write to him.
I had purchased a beautiful leather-bound journal and transferred the college-written letters into it. Somehow having a leather âreal bookâ made him seem more ârealâ.
I was getting desperate. Friends were getting married all around me. So⌠like any Christian girl might doâŚ
I finally gave up.
During my second year of teaching 2nd grade, I married Jesus since I couldn’t find His man for me… and dedicated myself to live with Him as my husband… and decided that we would spend our lives on the foreign mission field somewhere. {Important to notice the words “I decided”… “foreign mission field”… Not good – unless it’s GOD’s decision!!!}
But God had not yet healed me and I was physically weak, barely making it some days. How in the world I thought I would get accepted into any mission program at that point, I just donât know! Ugg!} My wise school principal encouraged me to keep waiting and praying and trusting in God,
So I gave up those missionary plans and just kept praying⌠and waiting⌠and writing.
I prayed for my husband every time I felt lonely. I prayed for him when I would hear a great sermon or be convicted about something through my quiet times â I prayed that he would be convicted or taught the same thing too. I prayed for him when I saw tragedy â prayed for his protection. I prayed for his mind, his heart, his choices, his joys, his sorrows, what he was doing with his present time, his job, and his future. I prayed for him each morning as I started a new day, and every night as I went to sleep. Most of all I prayed for his walk with the Lord, and begged God to mold him into the Spiritual leader of our home.
I prayed⌠and waited⌠and wrote.
A few pages from the journal for my husband
Praying⌠and waiting {albeit not always with the greatest of patience}⌠and writingin my husbandâs journal seemed to somewhat satisfy the angst in my soul to find that promised âministry-manâ from the Lord. Looking back, I was young. Really young. But at the time, when most of my college friends were already married, and many of my single friends had engagement rings on their fingers, it seemed like God had forgotten me and my dedication to trusting Him with finding me a husband.
I thought I was past my prime. So, I often tried to âhelp God alongâ ⌠always to no avail. Others tried to help God (and me) find my man, and that never worked out either.
Except one time. And once was all that was needed.
I had a list in my prayer journal of the names of potential âblind datesâ that my friends had arranged for me. It was generally the same repeated conversation â âYouâre a nice girl. Heâs a nice guy. You two should meet.â And we would. Sometimes weâd meet and become great friends. Other times, it just wouldnât work out. But always, Iâd write the nice guy’s name down on my page of âpossibilitiesâ in my prayer journal.
See, I felt that if God allowed this “nice man” to enter my life enough for me to possibly spend even one evening with him, then God had crossed our lives for some purpose. Because of that knowledge, I could invest in what God was doing in his life by praying for him. Every time a name was given to me as a ânice guy you should meet,â Iâd write his name on my list. {If he had qualities I especially liked, Iâd put a star by his name. haha. I had this down to a science!}
Every so often, Iâd turn to that page of possibilities and pray through the names written there. Though some of these blind dates never materialized, I still prayed for the guy. It was kind of like being a secret pal to someone â investing in a life I knew little about, but one that God cared deeply about.
On a cold January day in 1992, I ran into the mom of a little boy who had been in my classroom several years earlier. After we chatted for a moment, she said those too-familiar words: âI have someone I want you to meet.â
She went on to tell me how God had put me on her heart for this man⌠and how he was a nice Godly guy and I was a nice Godly girl and how weâd be great together. blah blah blah. It was’t that I didnât care, but I was tired… physically sick and tired, and truth be told… spiritually tired and weary of waiting and of praying and of writing. Inwardly I groaned. But outwardly, I let her tell me the name of this guy and said that Iâd pray about it and pray for him.
When I got back to my prayer journal, I had one line left on that âpossibilityâ page. ONE LINE, yâall!
And guess whose name I wrote on that one line!!!?
You guessed it… James Walker!
In an unlikely place at a most inconvenient time, God brought the name James Walker across my path, and I wrote it on the last line of the âpossibility pageâ in my journal. Then, because I was sick, I went home for bed rest. Praying⌠and waiting⌠and writing⌠and resting.
What I knew then in my head and mostly tried to act upon, I now know in my heart. God doesnât need us to put ourselves âout thereâ in order for us to find His will, His plan, or His mate.
Let me say this again:
God doesnât need us to put ourselves âout thereâ in order for us to find His will, His plan, or His mate.
In the most unlikely time and at the most unexpected place, He can bring about what ever it is that He desires for our lives â in His perfect timing and in His perfect way. (I was actually in a doctor’s office when I ran into the mom who told me about James.)
While we are waiting on God and praying and trusting, we must also be obeying. As long as we are obeying God right where we are, He will guide us and we will be in the right place for Him to accomplish His best in and through our lives.
Check out the hair!! đ
While I rested and recovered, I prayed for the guy named James Walker, along with the other people in my journal. Soon, I began receiving sweet cards from the girls in my singleâs Sunday School class. And oddly enough, they all mentioned a âfriendâ they had named James Walker.
I met James on my first Sunday back at church from my month of rest. It was February 23rd,1992. Exactly one month later, I knew James Walker was the one God had planned for me!
See, besides praying⌠and waiting⌠and writing in my âhusbandâs journal,â I had also been writing something else. Something that I started when I was 13 years old.
A list.
A list of all of the qualities I wanted in a husband.
It was more like a file folder full of scraps of papers and corners of church bulletins than an official list. Whenever I would see or hear of or think of a quality I wanted in a husband, Iâd write it down and tuck it away in a file labeled “Husband.”
Some of the qualities were deeply Spiritual and important. Others were absolutely silly and unnecessary for a great marriage. But all were important enough to me for me to write down and give to the Lord. I reasoned that if they were important to me, and if I gave them to Him, He would give them back to me if they were best and if He could receive glory through them.
For example, I asked for a man of Godly integrity who enjoyed serving the Lord. I also asked for a man who would enjoy drinking coffee and watching old movies with me.
And guess what?!!!
James Walker had those plus every single quality I had asked for in a husband!
I didnât know it at first. In fact, we had gone on just three dates when it seemed that everyone at church already had us âmarried off.â I didnât think I liked him in that way, so I prepared a Crock-pot roast and invited him for Sunday dinner in order to give him the âlets just be friendsâ speech.
However, that Sunday morning before dinner, our preacher said something that would be a life-changer for me. He said, âAre you standing in the door way of what God has for you because you donât think it is His very best?â
I was so âdoneâ with dating, and had just âmarried Jesus,â but I felt as if God was speaking directly to me that morning. âWas I standing in the door way of what God has for me that is His very best, but I didnât think it was?â I let out a sigh and looked up at James Walker in the choir loft and told the Lord:
âLord, I just donât care about my plans anymore. I donât want to stand in the doorway of what you have for me. So even if you want me to marry that James Walker up there, I will do it. I just donât want to miss your best.â
When church was over, I rushed home and set out the meal. It felt like I was fattening up the calf before the kill. đ All was going as planned until I tried to give the âfriend-speech.â Each time I started to say it, God would remind me of something on my list, and would show me that James had that specific quality. So Iâd take a bite of food, regroup, and try again. This lasted through the entire meal and two cups of coffee afterward.
When it was time for James to return to church to get ready for the evening service, I still hadnât told him that we could âjust be friends.â I was preoccupied thinking about what my friends would say when I told them I couldnât do it, when James held out his hand to me. He unassumingly said, âLetâs pray before I leave.â So I took his hand⌠and in the middle of his prayer, I FELL IN LOVE!
My heart did a 180! Instead of going back to church that night and telling my friends that I âlet him down easilyâ â I had to go back and tell them that James was the one!!!
He left my house completely unaware of any of this, and I was left dumbfounded. I was in love… and it was a completely different feeling than I had expected or experienced. I was overwhelmed, excited, nervous, and energized. But mostly, I was confused. So I did what any List-making-praying-waiting-girl would do, and I pulled out that file called âhusbandâ and compiled a master list of 10 years of quality collecting.
Guess what I discovered???
There were 113 qualities and characteristics on my list.
113! And James Walker met every one of them!
Soon my parents met James and agreed that he was the one for whom they, too, had prayed.
On the day that they met James and agreed that this was God’s man for me, I was able to do something I had been waiting for years to do: I wrote âDear Jamesâ in the heading of a new page in my âHusband Journal, then wrote to him all I experienced as God brought us together.
It was a monumental event for me.
I kept praying and waiting and writing, then gave the journal to James as a wedding gift.
We met and married in under 8 months time. To God be the glory!
I share this story in gratitude to both James and Jesus, and in hopes that it will encourage any dear readers who are waiting and praying for God to do something big in your lives or in the lives of your loved ones. Through this 10 year period of praying⌠and waiting⌠and writing, I learned some beautiful truths:
1. Nothing is too big or too little for God! Well-meaning people would tell me that my list was too long or too specific. Several times I asked the Lord if I needed to let the list go, and I never felt like thatâs what He wanted. I knew that if God wanted to answer every request on that list, He would and could do it. And, God knew that whether He did or didnât give me what I asked, I would still trust and glorify Him through His answer.
2. Itâs in the little things that we often realize how much God loves us and cares about the intimate details of our lives. I expected God to answer the important Spiritual things on the list with a YES. But truly⌠It wouldnât have been a game-changer if my husband didnât like old movies or coffee {well… maybe the coffee… jk!}. The fact that God answered even the silly and unnecessary things on my list make me love both God and James even more!
3. If itâs important to us, itâs important to God. He will never laugh or make cruel fun of us for the desires of our hearts. If, as we are praying and obeying and waiting when we happen to be desiring something that is not good for us, He will help change our desires into something that IS good for us. Nothing about our lives, our desires, our choices, or our loves is unimportant to God.
For this man I prayed⌠and waited⌠and wrote⌠And God granted me my request. May He forever receive glory through our lives and marriage!
{Updated March 23, 2023} God’s ways are always best.
Thirty-one years ago today – March 23, 1992 – I awoke with a singular plan on my mind â today I must break up with that James Walker. It wasn’t even that we were seriously “going together.” We had only been dating for one month, but at that time at Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis Tennessee, if you went out with someone more than three times in a row, you were pretty much considered “dating.”
It wasn’t even that I didn’t like James. He was a really WONDERFUL guy. He was kind and thoughtful and Godly, gentlemanly and strong⌠Come to think of it, I don’t know what I was thinking!!
This day was a Sunday, so I had invited him over for a “let go” lunch. I had made what my family called our Regular Sunday Meal â A roast in the crockpot cooked along with potatoes, carrots, and onions, with a side dish of green beans, some type of bread (I don’t remember) and a dessert to go with our coffee. My plan was to fatten him up before the kill. đ Bless James! Oh, what a fool was I!!
Thankfully, God MIGHTILY intervened during the sermon that morning. Dr. Adrian Rogers wasn’t there that day, so Bro. Bob Sorell was preaching. As he closed his message, he asked a question phrased something like this:
“Are you standing in the doorway of what God has for you, that is HIS VERY BEST, but you are blocking the way because YOU don’t think it is best?”
It was one of those moments when it seemed like there was no one in that huge 7000 seat auditorium but the Bro. Bob and me… (know what I mean?)… And it was like he was staring straight into my eyes. Immediately in my spirit, I sensed the Lord say to me, “Well, are you?”
Theeennnn Swoosh! I was back with the 7000 other people, realizing just how tired I was of trying to run my own life, figuring it all out on my own. Â See, I was a young adult who thought that by that time I’d already be married and on my way to the dreamy world of the white picket fence and motherhood. Â Instead, I was a single elementary school teacher, who had not long ago surrendered to God’s “whatever” Â – but somehow I kept trying to grab back control for myself. Â God was {again} reminding me that continuing to try to be my own god and manipulating my own plans was not working, that He had other plans that were better… and I’d experience those if I’d just back away and let Him do his thing! After all, God’s ways are always best!
So in an act of total surrender to the Lord, His “doorway” and His plans, I told Jesus that I was moving out of the doorway [say this as dramatically as possible – Moooving out of the doorway!]. That I wanted His best. Then I looked up in the choir loft and saw that James Walker, and added, “Even if you want me to marry that James Walker up there, I will, if that is Your best for me. I’m just tired of trying to figure out everything on my own.”{I guess you can see the irony… huh? đ }
Nothing big happened after that. Just peace with God. Then lunch. A yummy lunch roast beef meal where every time I tried to suggest to James that we “just be friends” God would remind me of a quality I had been praying for in a husband – and then show me that James had it. So I would eat a bite of roast. Or vegetables. Or bread. Or dessert. Until I was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey.
So I suggested that we move to the couch to enjoy a second cup of coffee {another score on my list, btw, someone who would enjoy coffee with me} and every time I tried to break up, God would open my eyes to the husband requests I had made over the years and how James’ character traits were meeting even the most insignificant ones I had listed.
We drank all of my coffee (I only had a small 4-cup maker back then), and he had to go back to work {at the church – as in he was called into the ministry… and God had called me at the age of 13 to be a minister’s wife… but I was still somewhat blinded to this at the time}. So James did what he had been doing all month, before he left me, he would take my hand and pray with me. But this time when he took my hand and prayed… during that prayer… God did a 180 degree turn in my heart, and by the time he finished praying, I was in love.
{Let’s just have a moment of silence and let that sink in. Thank you. Now, moving on.}
James had no idea. He walked out the door, went back to work, oblivious of the whole emotional rollercoaster that had been playing out in my heart and mind all afternoon. He had no idea of the break up – nor of the fall in. (Again… bless this precious man!!!)
I thought I had been “in love” before – but not like this! Â I had no idea what God’s brand of “in love” really felt like – that deep sense of security and peace that passes all understanding… when a girl has prayed and prayed for years for that man God has chosen… and waited (sometimes patiently and sometimes not… but waited none the less) and then when God says, “This is the one!” – that feeling… it was a beautiful overwhelming! God’s ways are always best!
I ran to my little filing cabinet and grabbed a manilla folder entitled “Husband” and poured it out on the table. There were scrap pieces of paper from teenage years hearing sermons about Godly men, from break ups or crushes and characteristics I would want and wouldn’t want in a man, letters and prayers from college when others were getting their husbands and I didn’t… Scriptural lists, and totally ridiculous ones that really don’t matter in the scope of life, but they mattered a little bit to me… and I began to compile a full list of all of the requests I had made over the years for my husband.
Guess what?
The compiled list had 113 things on it.
And guess what else?
James Walker met all 113 things on that list!
Seriously.
God did NOT have to do that for me! In fact, over the years while I was praying for my husband, people would tell me that I needed to lighten my list, that it would be impossible to find someone with all of those qualities. Though I was willing to give up the surface things, I wouldn’t budge on the Godly ones. However, our gracious God gave me even the surface silly ones, too.
Why? Â Because He is a Good Good Father. Â He delights to delight His children. Â He loves us, and has good things in store for all of us IF WE WILL WAIT ON HIM AND TRUST HIM. And, God’s ways are always best!
I certainly didn’t do it perfectly. But as I waited and trusted, I learned to fall in love with Jesus. He became my first love, my first Man, my first Husband. And while I was learning to love the Lord with all my heart, the Lord was also working on preparing my earthly husband – teaching and molding and calling and growing James to be the Godly man, servant, and spiritual leader of our home that he is today.
God’s timing and ways are perfect. Â Always! Praise the Lord!!!
I’ve never shared this in writing before… but today, I sensed that the Lord had someone He would encourage through this story, so it’s my joy to share and pray for each who may read it.
If God hasn’t worked in this way for you, yet… Don’t give up on Him, because He hasn’t  given up on you!  He may not work exactly this way – but His ways are so high that we can’t even imagine them – so it will be even better than my story!!!  (Isaiah 55:8-9). God’s ways are always best!
OR if you feel like He won’t work this way for you because you didn’t wait on Him and you have “already messed up” – DO NOT let the enemy play with your head and heart that way! You know better than that. God’s mercies are NEW every day! You can start today waiting on and trusting in the Lord – and He will help you in ways you can’t imagine!
Read these favorite verses from Lamentations 3 back to the Lord, affirming them as Truth that you will determine to cling to in the days ahead (I found and clung to these during those days of waiting for a husband – and haven’t let go ever since):
This I recall and therefore have I hope and expectation; It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not. They are new every morning;
Great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); Therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.
The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him,
Lamentations 3:21-25 (Amp)
Be encouraged, my sisters. Â God’s ways are always best! Only God knows how the day will end when you surrender it into His hands. Â I began this day 31 years ago intending to break up with “that James Walker” and instead, feel head over heels in love with him, and I’m praising the Lord that His ways are so much higher and better than mine – and yours too! (Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 55:8-9).Â
PS: And for all you girls out there waiting and wondering if God will EVER bring that man of yours to you: All of this occurred not too very long after Jesus and I had just been through this together. Â (Check it out… I pray you’ll be encouraged!)
And here we are… 31 years later! God’s ways are ALWAYS best! đ
Hi friends ~You have been on my heart & mind a lot lately. Although I’m out of the loop on what’s going on in your lives, I’m assured that when God brings you to mind, He knows the details. And as I pray for you, He knows exactly how to interpret those prayers according to His amazing love for you & His glorious will.
A while ago, I started a new page in my prayer/QT journal. I call it my “Nothing is Too Hard for God” page. On the top of the page, I have some wonderful Scriptural truths about God’s Power and our need to never give up as we pray. Verses like Jeremiah 32:17-19, Luke 18:1,Luke 1:37…
Then, underneath those verses, I listed those situations in and around my life and in the lives of those I love where unless God intervenes, there is no human hope. I listed dear friends fighting cancer, the salvation of a few “stubborn, but good” people, the restoration of some marriages that had previously glorified the Lord, some “difficult” people God has placed in our paths, a family of children who experienced a terrible tragedy & trauma that would seem impossible to ever recover from …
I LOVE this page in my journal! It gives me great joy to turn to it and to pray about the impossible situations listed before the Lord! One of these days, He will work the “impossible” in these lives. He may not answer in the way I think He should, but He will answer. And when He does, I’ll get to do my most favorite part of my prayer journaling: putting a big, fat X right in the blank I drew before I ever wrote the request.
Do you have some “impossible” needs before you today? Are they weighing you down with worry or fear? If so, I encourage you to write them down, and give them to The Lord.
“For with God, nothing is impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment.” (Luke 1:37)
If you know you are praying in line with God’s Word and God’s will, don’t give up! Nothing is too hard or too wonderful for God!(From Jer. 32:17-19)
I love each one of you, and pray for God to strengthen, encourage, & guide you through those “impossible” situations. Our Lord knows your needs and is Great in Counsel and Mighty in Deeds! Seek Him in His Word, obey Him and Trust Him. He IS the God of the impossible!
 âO Sovereign Lord!  You made the heavens and earth by your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you!
…You are the great and powerful God, theLord of Heavenâs Armies. You have all wisdom and do great and mighty miracles. You see the conduct of all people, and you give them what they deserve.” Jeremiah 32:17-19, NLT
With much love ~
Have a great day in The Lord! He loves you so!
(This is a repost from 2010 – in the midst of some heaviness of heart and life.  Just felt led of the Lord to share it again and am praying for each one of you who will read it.)
Do you ever think you’ve settled into something with the Lord, submitted to Him over it, only to turn right around and grab it back or go back to your old ways? That’s what I’ve been doing lately. I will put on His armor, stand myself behind the Shield of Faith, make up my mind to Trust God for the day, put on my garment of expressive praise (Isaiah 61:3), and head joyfully into my morning. But at the first sign of something not “going my way”, before I can even process what’s happening, I’ve thrown off that cloak of praise and put on a heavy and burdened spirit.
Soon, I’ll change back to praise, and then back to heaviness… over and over so many times that I remind myself of that Quick Change Act from America’s Got Talent several years ago. It was fascinating to watch someone quickly change their outfits in the blink of an eye, but changing the covering of my heart this quickly is leaving me grumpy and frustrated and an open target to discouragement!
What I’ve been processing lately is the fact that there is a fine line between believing that God blesses his children as they walk in obedience to Him, and expecting Him to do it in a certain way.
Does this make sense? We believe God to be and do all He says He is and will do. Because we believe it, we also expect Him to act on the Scriptural Truths about Him. But in our day and place in this world, I’m beginning to think that we believers seem to have put God’s “blessings” into categories, and ranked them according to what we prefer. In doing so, I realized that I am a spoiled child of God. I want what I want when I want it, and if I don’t get it, I pout and cry. I think, no, I know this is one of the things God is wanting to work out of me during this time.
This is so heavy on my heart because I’ve actually heard myself say things lately that I KNOW are not true to the way and nature of God. As much as we know, James and I are walking in obedience to the Lord, yet if you looked at our lives, very little seems to be working out for us right now.  We are so thankful that he has a job, but our family is not together, serving the Lord with him. Every effort made on behalf of selling our house has thus far failed. We are empty of resources. And on top of that, James was on his way home to see Nathan in a ballgame last week and had a wreck on the interstate.
To every one of these situations, I have made a list of blessings from the Lord. I see that He has been SO good to us. He is taking care of us. He is feeding, clothing, sheltering, protecting, loving, strengthening, and sustaining us. His timing is perfect. I know that. He is Jehovah Jireh. He will provide for us. He protected James in that wreck, and James walked away unhurt – his truck was damaged, but not James. God even provided a vehicle for James to borrow until the truck is fixed. Blessings, blessings, and more blessings! I look around me at others I’m praying for, and realize how blessed I am. I truly am so thankful!!!
Here’s my problem: I’ll praise Him for these gifts in one breath, then fall apart in the next. And I think it’s because in my “thoughts”, the way the Lord would bless us in our walk of obedience and faith is to work everything out quickly and nicely once James had a job…so we can all give God glory for the beautiful unfolding of His plan! I thought He would quickly sell our house, put us together as a family, keep us from having to deal with additional difficulties during this already difficult period of our lives, and provide a place for us to live and serve Him happily and joyfully all of our days.
I “thought” He would bless us in that way because He promises to bless those who are walking with Him. But as I process this, I’m reminded of Isaiah 55:8-9 (Msg)
” ‘I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.’ God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.” Â Isaiah 55:8-9 (Msg)
I praise the Lord that we can’t control Him and His thoughts! The bottom line for me is the word: Entitlement. It’s an attitude a lot of us have with the Lord. “I’ve been a good little girl, so now You be a good Big God and give me _______.”
Oh, how wrong I have been! Several times this week the Lord has brought me to scriptures about humbling yourself under the mighty Hand of God. I realized that humility and entitlement can not exist simultaneously.
It’s humility God wants from His children. An attitude of entitlement is an attitude of a spoiled brat. (And we all know how UN-pleasurable it is to be in the company of a spoiled brat!) An attitude of humility is an attitude of realizing we deserve NOTHING, seeing EVERYTHING as a gift from God, and thanking Him in ALL things.
God has blessed us. Please let me make it clear – He has overwhelmingly blessed us and been so very real and wonderful to us on this journey. I truly don’t mean to moan and complain. In comparison to so many, I have nothing to complain about. But I’m just keeping it real, and I’m saying all of this to get to the real point that I’ve been digesting lately.
See, I thought that if we were walking in obedience to the Lord on the path He put us on, there wouldn’t be so. many. roadblocks. I knew there would be life-trials and faith-building times, but I never thought there would be so many huge deterrents all piled in one portion of the path.  Usually when we face such large deterrents, we begin to question our calling. “Did I hear the Lord? Did He really call me to this path? Am I missing something? Am I not obeying Him fully? and on and on…”
I’ve asked God those questions many times and the answer continues to be a resounding “YES! You have heard Me correctly. I have called you to Cleveland, MS, to serve me in the FBC and in the town. You are not missing anything right now… except a consistant level of TRUST in ME!”
My friend, Amy (of Amy’s Fall-Mix), shared something with me a few weeks ago that has made all of the difference in the world to me and the way I can now view the Lord and our situation. She had just finished studying the book of Acts in Community Bible Study and summed up what she learned. It went something like this:
When we look at our circumstances and start to question our calls, think about Paul. He hit one roadblock after another – arrests, prison, shipwrecks, trials, rejection… nothing seemed to “go right” for him on the paths God called him to walk. But that didn’t mean that Paul wasn’t called to those paths. Instead of complaining and questioning his call, Paul continued to boldly walk the paths God set him upon, and he did it in the strength and of the Lord. Paul didn’t have an easy way at all. He had very little relief inbetween major difficulties. However, God used Paul in a way that has, is, and will continue to impact countless lives in every generation.
The serving the Lord and impacting the generations may come from being on a road full of blessings of a different kind… and not the “obvious” ones we tend to look for and to expect. Did God bless Paul? Of course He did. He gave Paul salvation, an intimate knowledge of God, the awareness of God’s presence, protection, deliverance, victory, wisdom, strength, help, the meeting of his immediate needs, friends…etc. Paul was obedient. God blessed Paul. But Paul’s life was not an easy one.
When it’s all said and done, I’d rather walk a path full of daily roadblocks forever, if it meant that my life would be used by God. I just need to remember this the next time a discouraging road block is thrown in the path, and not be so quick to throw off my garment of expressive praise! I don’t want to win America’s Got Talent with my quick-change act! I want to win “Jennifer’s Got Faith” with my wardrobe of consistant praise! đ
I’m praying for you, my friends, and will close with a verse for all of us:
“Your God has commanded your strength [your might in His service and impenetrable hardness to temptation];
O God, display Your might and strengthen what You have wrought for us!”
Psalm 68:28 (Amp)
It’s hard for me to believe and even harder for me to remember the day-to-day details of what we were living through this time three years ago. We were at an intense place of trusting the Lord… with completely empty hands waiting to be filled… and eyes turned toward Him in hopeful expectation. January and February of 2010 were bleak months for us. But as always, God’s faithfulness carried us through those days straight into this day, and we are all the better for it. As I reflect on those months, I can’t help but smile. God knew all along what He was preparing for us as we waited in what seemed emptiness. We didn’t understand “why” or “what” – but praise our Faithful Lord, we had walked with Him enough to believe that He had not forgotten us. ( For the whole story click here.)
Every once in a while since that time, I read back through those posts where I journaled much of our journey and can’t help but marvel at all God was busy doing as we waited. One of the things He was busy doing was refining all four of us. It was not a wasted journey. If you need some encouragement about where you seem to be at this point in your 2013, I pray that this post from the midst of our journey will be used by God to bless and strengthen you.
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Post from 3 years ago:
If you’re like me, verses like Proverbs 3:5-6, and Romans 8:28 are such a familiar passages, that I find myself glossing over the deep Truths these verses convey. However, familiarity doesn’t negate truth, and today, the Lord has brought them afresh to me. What an encouragement they are!
If you need some encouragement today, read these verses, asking the Lord for fresh eyes to see them… to really soak in what the Lord is saying… and let Him bless your heart and mind.
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord
with all your heart and mind.
Do not rely on your own insight or understanding.In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him,and He will direct and make straight and plainyour paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amp)
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“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor]
all things work together and are [fitting into a plan]
for good to and for
those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.”
Romans 8:28 (Amp)
Every so often this story comes across my in-box in the most timely of ways. It’s a beautiful reminder of what God is doing in all of our lives when we place ourselves and our loved ones into His hands.
May you be blessed and encouraged through this – and may the Lord make each of us to shine in such a way that we reflect His character to everyone we encounter.
Malachi 3:3 says: ‘He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.’
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: ‘He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.’ She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed..
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, ‘How do you know when the silver is fully refined?’
He smiled at her and answered, ‘Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.’
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.
Because He IS working all things together, fitting them into His plan for you, for your good, and for His glory! His Word says so. And we can trust Him.
Peace in the Lord Jesus Christ be unto you~ Jennifer