I was looking back over some posts from several years ago and laughed out loud at a post – not intended to be funny at all – entitled “True Confessions.” The post began with no introduction – just a list of 10 of my “secrets” that I usually keep hidden from the outside world (or at least from the world outside of my home and intimate friendships). I had recently returned from an overseas mission trip whose details had to remain private in order to protect the safety of those I went to serve. On the outside, I was functioning as “normal” again… but inside my heart and home, I was a mess!
It was so good for me to go back and read that post again… to be reminded that no one has it all together, NO ONE! Especially not me… So I can lighten up on myself a little bit because again, at least in my home, I’m living in CHAOS! (As the Flylady puts it: Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome!)
These are my True Confessions 2.o – and for some reason, I’m compelled to share them with you. (Confession IS good for the soul… right?)
1. This one starts with a praise. We are finally at the end of a 3 month long surgery and recovery ordeal with Abigail. Yay God!!!! She had a cyst on the base of her spine removed mid-November, and instead of healing, her surgery wound worsened. In December and January we were making a 4-hour round trip 2-3 days a week to an out of town hospital for wound care therapy. She was “homeschooled” until mid January, and was finally released last week from the surgeon – as in… almost healed! That’s the praise!!
Confession: I now know for sure why God didn’t call me to be a nurse.
But I also know what Paul meant in Philippians 4:13 when he said that he could do ALL things through Christ who strengthens him. That’s how I dressed Abigail’s wound every day. ONLY in Christ’s strength! 🙂 PS: God bless those of you in health care professions!
Confession: I loved taking care of her again like I used to when she was little. It was an unexpected privilege that most moms of high school seniors don’t get. During a time when my arms and heart were aching over the upcoming empty nest, God gave me a chance to care for my young again. I’ll cherish it always. God used this time to build something in Abigail, too, and both of us will look back on this as a blessing instead of a curse.
2. Confession: It’s now March (this is a big one, y’all) and I STILL HAVE ABOUT TEN CHRISTMAS GIFTS TO FINISH, WRAP, AND DELIVER. There. I said it. If you are one of the recipients, you know who you are – because you didn’t get a gift from us. 😉 One of these days – maybe by 4th of July or something like that… It will be a nice surprise and a reminder of this Christmas past, or the next one to come. haha.
3. Confession: These days, I’m a high-maintenance woman with no home for my beauty products, so I’m putting on my make up and fixing my hair from a rolling cart that I’m pushing around the house from mirror to mirror and sink to sink. Lovely. And when it’s not in use, it stays parked in the living room by the piano. Super lovely. People come in our front door, and instead of offering them something to drink or eat, I can now offer them a make-over, complete with teeth brushing and face washing options. Actually, our bathroom (long story short) has had to be gutted and rebuilt. But God is taking care of us, all is well, and my beauty paraphernalia and I are rolling right along.
4. Confession: Not complaining or anything… But man! I sure was waiting on the big snow to hit the Delta. It never came. (It usually doesn’t, but a girl can hope, can’t she??) But I’m over it now… It’s Spring!
5. Confession: In 70 something days, our baby will graduate from High School. It’s making my heart beat fast to think about it. Weren’t we just doing this with Nathan? Abigail will be going to college at Delta State University, which is here in Cleveland, so at least she will be close to home. We want her to have the “full college experience” though, so we’re not expecting to see her all the time. (But it will be good to know that these mama-arms can get to her quickly in case they feel extra empty one day – or incase she needs her mama or daddy.)
Confession: We still miss Nathan and sure are thankful for Zoe. Enough said.
6. Confession: (and this is the best one) In the midst of the CHAOS, though my home and personal agenda and schedule have been turned upside down over the past months, the Lord has kept my heart at Peace, because {maybe?} finally I’m learning HOW to keep my focus on Him.
These are two of God’s Truths put together that have equaled Peace for me over the last three months:
“In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trusting confidence shall be your strength.”
Isaiah 32:17
and
“Turn my eyes from worthless things
and give me life through your Word.”
Psalm 119:37
So… Every time I begin to stress, it’s been in returning to God and resting in Him that has saved me.
Having Trusting-Confidence in God has infused His Strength into everyday weariness.
The “Worthless things” (to me) include worry, panic, time wasted on stressing out over what is, spending moments complaining, being overwhelmed or self-focused.
The instruction says “in returning to Me.” The prayer says “Turn my eyes from worthless things and give me LIFE through your Word.”
For me, during this go-round of smalltime stressors, I’m learning that Life comes by turning AWAY FROM what stresses and turning TO what will strengthen eyes (mind and heart) – the Living Word of God. Reading the Scripture instead of reading something else to occupy my mind during these “out of sync” days has kept me “in sync” with the Lord. (I’m usually a Christian fiction lover – but I’ve needed the Lord’s Word more than some of my favorite fiction writers’ or even Hallmark movies these days.)
Confession: Keeping God’s Word in front of me and encouraging verses posted around me has kept me at rest when the rest of life has been topsy-turvy.
Thanks for listening. I hope that in my confessions you might have found some encouragement for your own topsy-turvy days. God is always faithful – and through His strength, no matter what, we can do everything He places infront of us to do. Aren’t we thankful that we aren’t in this life on our own??? 🙂
